Chapter 2:
Dear god author’s notes before the fic should not be this long. I feel like I’ve been transported to the early FFN era.
So last chapter they make a joke about the PMS section’s acronym but do not ever explain what the hell PMS stands for in the context of Staples. Because I am not a regular Staples customer nor have I ever worked there, this is annoying and obtuse. This acronym, completely unexplained, continues to be used in this chapter.
There are little setups for interesting stories to be told by the characters, which could give them some flavor, but instead of writing them, the author decides to say they couldnt come up with something. You’re not smooth!! I know you couldn’t come up with anything either, author!
I guess the POV switches between characters every chapter because of course it does.
The author is obviously going for the “2 characters hang out together and through their interactions we get to know their character and relationship with each other” but keeps doing the friendship equivalent of fading to black.
"keeps doing the friendship equivalent of fading to black." i love you
And then they spent an hour wasting time before getting back to work. OK but what did they do??? Why not even write that??? Why are you so afraid to write meaningful interactions between characters instead of little quips back and forth??